Romance scam is fraud built on feigned love. Criminals establish an intense relationship within a short time through dating platforms or social networks, and later ask for money. This guide shows the typical warning signs, explains how the scheme works and describes what to do if you have already transferred money. It is based on a prevention notice from the North Rhine-Westphalia police (February 2025); other police authorities may set different priorities.
Short answer: Typical warning signs include a brief English invitation to chat, long declarations of love shortly after first contact, intensive questions about private life and family, and early talk of marriage. Never send money to people you know only online. The police of North Rhine-Westphalia (NRW) list these features in its prevention notice of February 2025. Last updated: November 2026.
The most important points
- The relationship develops unusually fast and intensely.
- The contact pushes early for a switch to another channel of communication.
- Profile photos look strikingly flawless, and men in uniform are used as a motif.
- Every request for money is a clear warning sign, even when framed as an emergency or an investment.
- If you suspect fraud: no further payments, inform your bank, secure evidence and report it to the police.
How the scam works
Contact often begins on a dating platform or a messenger. The North Rhine-Westphalia police describe a brief invitation to chat in English as a typical opening. This is usually followed by unusually polished communication that builds trust and quickly becomes personal.
The next step creates emotional attachment. The other side asks intensively about hobbies, family and former partners. This information helps the fraudsters build a credible role. Eventually comes the request for money, for example for a trip, an emergency or a supposed opportunity.
Warning signs at a glance
| Warning sign | What lies behind it |
|---|---|
| Brief invitation to chat in English | The contact is supposed to move quickly to another channel. |
| Long love letters shortly after first contact | Emotional pressure is meant to create trust early. |
| Intensive questions about private life, hobbies and former partners | The fraudsters collect information for a credible role. |
| Early reference to a husband or wife and talk of marriage | The bond is deliberately accelerated. |
| Strikingly flawless profile photos | Photos often come from other profiles. A reverse image search helps. |
| Photos of men in uniform | The NRW police note that fraudsters sometimes use such photos. |
| Request for money or a bank transfer | This is the real aim of the fraud. |
No single sign proves fraud. What matters is the combination: fast closeness, reluctance to arrange a video call or a meeting, and finally a request for money.
What you can check yourself
- Check the name and profile photos with a search engine and a reverse image search.
- Use a separate email address for the exchange, not your main address.
- Share personal data, pictures and videos with restraint, especially intimate recordings.
- Never make your account available for forwarding other people’s money. The NRW police note that this can be a criminal offence, for example money laundering.
When a bond forms fast, it helps to step back. Talk to someone you trust about the relationship before you pass on money or data. Outsiders often spot the fraud sooner than the person affected.
What to do if you suspect fraud or have already paid
Do not respond to further demands for money. This also applies when supposed helpers such as Interpol staff, lawyers or foreign authorities get in touch. Such messages are often part of the scheme and aim to continue it.
Contact your bank immediately and, where possible, have payments reversed. Secure emails, chat histories, screenshots, usernames and transfer receipts. Then report the case to the police. The NRW police point to the online police report service of North Rhine-Westphalia, and other states have their own services.
Support is offered in North Rhine-Westphalia by the victim protection portal of NRW and nationwide by the police crime prevention programme. Even if you feel embarrassed, reporting is the right step, because the earlier the bank is informed, the better the chances of reversing a transfer.
Frequently asked questions
What is the fastest way to recognise a romance scam?
The clearest sign is a request for money, often combined with a rapid bond and a wish to move the contact to another channel. Then a prompt stop and a check through a search engine and reverse image search are sensible.
Can I get transferred money back?
That depends on the individual case. What matters is informing your bank at once and having the payments checked. The NRW police name a report and securing evidence as central steps. No outcome can be guaranteed.
Does a reverse image search really help?
It shows whether a profile photo already appears elsewhere online, often under a different name. This is a useful hint, but not a guarantee. An unremarkable result does not prove that the person is genuine.
May I let an acquaintance use my bank account?
No. The NRW police point out that forwarding other people’s money can be a criminal offence. Even when the request sounds harmless, it should be declined.
Where can I find more information?
The police crime prevention programme offers information on fraud schemes at polizei-beratung.de. Related articles on everyday fraud are listed in the hub below.
Trust cannot be checked with a button
Trust cannot be tested at the press of a button. What counts is whether a relationship holds up when no money is involved. A meeting in person, a video call at an agreed time and answers to simple everyday questions are good tests.
Fraud can also continue after contact has ended. Criminals sometimes change their name, profile or platform and start the same story again. Anyone who has been deceived once should therefore check new contacts for the same warning signs.
Why the approach works
Fraudsters rely on the pull of a relationship and on the shame that follows once the deception is discovered. Knowing that mechanism helps you stay calm, talk early to people you trust, and treat any request for money as the decisive signal, whatever the story around it.
So what do you do now?
- Stop any further payments and talk the relationship through with someone you trust.
- Check the name and photos with a search engine and a reverse image search.
- If you have already paid, contact your bank immediately.
- Secure evidence and report the case to the police.
Related reading
- Consumer rights in everyday life: protection against fraud and unfair contracts
- Dating apps: costs, subscription traps and how to avoid them (in German)
- Fraud on marketplaces: warning signs when buying and selling
- Social media account hacked: first steps for students
- Recognising a shock call: how fake police officers operate
Sources:
Last updated: November 2026. This guide is general information, not individual advice.
